It is a sad fact that most men experience early ejaculation on a fairly frequent basis. Having said that, what we mean by rapid ejaculation varies from couple to couple – what satisfies one couple inside the bedroom undoubtedly wouldn’t gratify another. Nonetheless it is possible to roughly define PE as climaxing inside of two minutes after intromission. NB: don’t bother following that link – it leads to a university website that isn’t of any interest. Instead, watch my video on premature ejaculation.
How To Delay Ejaculation and Live Happily Ever After
Delaying ejaculation isn’t just about sexual fulfillment for the man: it also means you’ll have a happy partner in your life, because women actually crave the intimacy of extended lovemaking. Bear in mind when a man makes the effort to boost his staying power, and learns how to last longer in bed, his partner will always sense he’s making a real effort to please her – and there is nothing a woman wants more than to be cherished and made to feel special. This is a practical way to show that you care about her.
Delaying ejaculation can be easier than you ever imagined. But actions are important here, not what you say. So make up your mind now that you are committed to controlling PE, either for your own pleasure or for the sake of your partner’s sexual satisfaction. It’s an important first step.
Secondly, learn how to relax completely while you’re in bed with your partner. Having sex makes the muscles of your body tighten, and this tension speeds up your progress towards orgasm. You can stay relaxed and slow down your breathing by keeping a part of your awareness focused on the level of muscular tension you are developing. Every time that you sense that you’re getting more tense, take time to slow down, and consciously relax all your muscles and take deep breaths.
Thirdly, know your level of arousal, so that you know how close you are to your orgasm. Don’t claim you don’t know how to delay ejaculation – instead, control your progress towards orgasm by slowing down the rhythm of sex, perhaps even remaining motionless, resting inside your partner and connecting with her emotionally and physically as your arousal decreases.
You can practice most of this during self-pleasuring – masturbation, if you prefer! Intentionally set out to bring yourself near to the point of ejaculation, halting before you get there, while keeping a clear awareness about how turned-on you feel. Self-discipline is necessary: only by withstanding the urge to ejaculate, and then repeating the experience several more times, will you discover how to delay ejaculation. Clearly, commitment is important. But this is one of the simplest and most effective techniques which you can use to learn how to slow down ejaculation.
Stimulate yourself for up to half an hour without achieving climax: go to the point of ejaculation and stop several times before coming. Although simple, this exercise is incredibly effective and will quickly let you make love for around five, ten or fifteen minutes. Even better, if you do this while enjoying intercourse with your partner, your knowledge of how to put off ejaculation will dramatically improve.
Yes – This IS Showtime!
So here we are men! The time has come for you to decide whether or not you want to learn how to delay ejaculation and become the man you are meant to be, or whether you want to carry on splurging far too soon during sex, and satisfying nobody. Except possibly your own selfish desires.
But the thing is this: your partner wants sex that makes her feel happy, satisfied and fulfilled. The question is, are you going to delay her satisfaction any longer, or are you going to slow down your ejaculation and enjoy making love to her in the way a man should?
Well, if your tendency to ejaculate prematurely is based on a psychological problem — no, “problem” is too harsh a word: it’s more of an “issue” — then you have a lot of possible treatment options. A lot of ways to slow down your ejaculation and delay your orgasm during lovemaking.
And in any case, I know you’re going to “man up”. You’re going to learn how to delay your ejaculation. And you’re not going to use drugs to do it. Sure, SSRIs are available as some kind of treatment for premature ejaculation. But do you really think that the drug-based approach is going to do anything to increase your confidence with women, reduce your anxiety, and delay your premature ejaculation? No, of course it isn’t.
Establishing a masculine sense of confidence in bed with a woman depends on you having a satisfactory relationship between you and your balls. And between you and your cock. And between you and your woman. But most of all, delaying ejaculation depends on you having a satisfactory relationship with your masculine power.
So what I mean by this is that you need to get yourself in the right place mentally before you start trying to cure premature ejaculation. Your confidence might well have been reduced or diminished by the fact that up till now you’ve never been able to delay orgasm during sex. And of course, I’m talking about your orgasm, not hers!
That’s the kind of thing that can have a major effect on a man’s sense of sexual confidence. Come to think of it, it’s the kind of thing that can delay the development of his sense of mature masculinity. Taking drugs is not the way to deal with that. The way to deal with a lack of sexual confidence is to find an effective treatment for premature ejaculation that will delay your ejaculating quickly.
So let’s start by asking you a few questions.
And the first and most painful of those is about your relationship to women. If you’re honest about it, do you really feel confident around women? Do you really feel like a powerful man whose psychological and emotional barriers are left intact when a woman starts displaying those typical feminine emotional qualities? Can you stand firm in the face of her anger, her neediness, or her demands? Or do you give way, like a man who doesn’t know his boundaries, or perhaps doesn’t know how to be strong in his male power? If so, then it’s my guess you might also experience premature ejaculation in bed.
You see, because of all the work I’ve done with men over the years, I’ve come to believe that one of the reasons men experience a rapid ejaculation is that they are at some level frightened of women.
I don’t mean that they go around in a state of abject terror, shaking with fear at the sight of a woman. What I really mean is that most men are not confident about sex, that something about making love to woman causes them anxiety. Obviously, a lack of confidence is the prime suspect here. But the irony is that not being able to delay ejaculation is both an effect of anxiety and a cause of more anxiety. And more anxiety, in itself, can cause you to ejaculate more rapidly.
So the first thing you have to do is change the way you see yourself. Now I don’t know if you’re following me, obviously, since we’re not sitting face-to-face, but I hope you are.
What I’m saying is that if you have any doubt about your masculine power, then you need to use some of radical behavioral techniques that will allow you to see yourself differently, as a more powerful man.
This is one major part of the treatment program that I recommend on this website – and which you can see in the right-hand column of this page. It’s called “Ejaculation By Command” and it’s an extremely effective way of learning how to delay ejaculation and last longer in bed.
The next thing you have to do is drop your expectation that you’re going to ejaculate quickly. Slow down, man, slow down! Taking it slowly helps you last longer. The more you extend foreplay, the more time you spend giving her an orgasm before you even think about getting your cock inside her, the more time you spend pleasuring her, the more confident you’re going to feel when you start making love. That means you’re going to delay your ejaculation, you’re going to last longer, and you’ll then feel better about yourself afterwards.
Since the main thing that women want during sex with you is the pleasure of an orgasm, closely followed by the sense of intimate connection with you, the longer you can learn to keep your cock inside her without shooting your load, the better. Let’s face it, you know this already. You’re just choosing to ignore it.
I see it as part of my job to bring you face-to-face with the hard truth: learning how to delay ejaculation is the only way that you’re ever going to be sexually fulfilled. (As opposed, that is, to having the transient, short lived, pleasure of coming inside a woman.)
So it’s a good job that Lloyd Lester’s program, Ejaculation By Command, has got all the information you could ever need on changing your expectations around sex. Ejaculating slowly, delaying your orgasm, spending more time pleasuring your partner, are all things that are explained in great detail in this interesting and profoundly successful method of avoiding premature ejaculation.
Do you need therapy? Counseling maybe? Well, even if you do, you’re not likely to get it to help you stop premature ejaculation, because it’s potentially such an embarrassing subject. And yet, seeking out the help of a good sex therapist and counselor to overcome premature ejaculation and learn how to delay your ejaculation, might just be what you need to break through any other psychological blocks you might have – such as anger towards women.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that you’re a man who would ever beat or attack a woman. But the truth is that most men I have met have had some gripe about women.
Maybe their mothers were inadequate; maybe they suffered humiliation at the hands of some silly adolescent woman when they first tried to make love; maybe they’ve been screwed in a divorce settlement. Whatever it is, a lot of men are angry with women, and I can tell you that being angry with women when you have sex with one of that gender does not necessarily make for a good session of lovemaking.
Actually, truth be known, what it makes for is a quick ejaculation, not a slow one. That’s because at some level your mind is telling you that the sooner you get out of this intimate situation with a woman, the better.
Now, I think you’re wise enough to know that that’s not how sex should be. Delaying ejaculation is a choice; and it’s a choice that involves other things than the mental attitude you bring to sex, things such as practical techniques of muscle control and relaxation. Even so, you may have to explore your deepest feelings and emotions towards women to delay ejaculation. Well, so what? That’s something that every man who wants success in life has to do.
You can get plenty of advice on this from Ejaculation by Command.
And so what else do you have to do to really be able to delay ejaculation when you make love?
Slow Down Ejaculation – Learn How Aroused You Are!
The first thing you have to do is learn to recognize how sexually excited you are. You see, many of the men who ejaculate quickly can’t slow down ejaculation because it comes upon them without any warning. So to speak.
And the reason for that is because they’re not sensitive to how aroused they are. When they know how aroused they are, they can stop what they’re doing, or do something different, to slow down the rate at which they approach the point of ejaculation.
Does that make sense? I mean, let’s face it, you know some things excite you more than others, sexually. So if you avoid those activities that make you race towards the point of ejaculation, and instead do some of the things that aren’t quite so exciting, then clearly you’re going to delay your ejaculation. Yes?
Which is why, instead of leaping into intercourse after only a few minutes of foreplay, you might find it more helpful to spend a great deal of time pleasuring your partner with sensuous caresses, oral sex, and masturbation.
I bet you’re thinking at this point: “That’s going to make me even more aroused, and make me come even more quickly.” But here’s the thing. She’s had an orgasm, so she’s not going to be dissatisfied if you do come quickly. The fact that you’ve given her an orgasm means that you feel more confident as her lover. And the fact is, that by letting yourself enjoy some activities that are sexually arousing to you, your tolerance of sexual stimulation increases.
That means that when you finally enter her, instead of ejaculating quickly, you’re likely to be able to delay your ejaculation somewhat.
Now at first of course you won’t be delaying ejaculation for very long. But the point is this: you feel more confident, and your ejaculation is likely to be slower. Not by much, maybe, to start with, but each time you do this, you’ll find yourself gaining more and more confidence about your ability to delay ejaculation.
You can help yourself by choosing sexual positions that are less arousing. So if you’re really serious about learning how to delay ejaculation, my suggestion would be that even if you enter her in the man on top position, you rapidly roll over on to the side-by-side position.
And what you’ll then find is that your penis is getting a lot less stimulation, and so your race to orgasm is really impeded.
I’ll explain that: when you’re on your side, there’s a lot less tension on the muscles of your body, since you don’t have to support your weight on your arms. And because a build-up of tension in the body is part of your route to orgasm, that means you’ll discover how to delay ejaculation.
Also, your penis is subject to a lot less pressure in the side-by-side sex position than it is in the man on top position. And last, but by no means least, you can’t thrust as hard or as deep, which is one of the things that makes you come so very, very quickly at the moment.