Treating Premature Ejaculation & Delaying Your Ejaculation

Holding Back Ejaculation – Ways To Delay The Moment Of Climax

I am a sex counselor for men with sexual problems. The most common problem of all, as you may have guessed, is not being able to prevent an early ejaculation during lovemaking. But why? What’s so difficult about holding your orgasm back when making love?

So, yes, over the years many men have made it clear to me that rapid ejaculation is by far their biggest sex-related issue. And of course, every man knows only too well if he has a problem in this area, even though doctors haven’t yet been able to agree on a universally accepted definition of rapid ejaculation.

But I’d say a guy who reaches the point of ejaculation inside two and a half minutes of entering his partner is probably coming too soon. And he’s unlikely to be obtaining the highest levels of sexual pleasure for himself, and he’s most likely not pleasing his partner sexually very much, either.

So, in the following paragraphs, I’ll explain some simple tactics which should help you to delay ejaculation and last longer in bed during intercourse.

Of course other things come up (forgive the pun!) when you lack the ability to hold back on your ejaculation: for instance, you might feel shame, lower masculine self-respect, a sense of failure as a lover, and you’re probably very well aware of the dissatisfaction of your sexual partner. Make no mistake about it: a lot of women end relationships because the man can’t control himself in bed. Truth is, most women like sex, and it seems the time they want it to last for is around 15 minutes. However, the average time for which intercourse actually lasts is around 9 minutes. Oh dear. And the average time among premature ejaculators is less than 3 minutes. How do you compare with that?

Some lovers decide they will deal with rapid ejaculation in a sensible way, most likely by making sure that the woman has an orgasm before penetration. Sexual intercourse and lovemaking can take many forms! Think oral sex. Think mutual masturbation. Yet, although this can satisfy some couples, it still means that the woman has not experienced the intimacy of extended penetrative lovemaking, a sensation which many women actually crave, and which they say is often as rewarding as orgasm itself.

In short, to improve the quality of your life and your relationship in every way, both sexually and in every other way, you need to know how to delay your ejaculation and last longer in bed. The average length of sexual intercourse will not satisfy most women, even if they’ve achieved orgasm before intercourse starts. Women want to know their man has the power to last longer in bed so that they can enjoy the sense of intimacy and connection which making love gives them.

Yes, it can be really challenging to pay attention to how much control you have when you’re sexually aroused, and that’s why I want to give you some simple advice that can help you greatly improve your staying power and sexual stamina.

Start by watching this video. It’s got some great advice!

How To Control PE

OK? Still with me? Good. Here are three simple tips that you can use immediately to make a big difference to your self-control during lovemaking. But before we start, please remember, slowing down your ejaculation requires you to be absolutely 100% sure about your intention. Do you really do want to delay your ejaculation and last longer in bed? It’s no use saying that you want to control premature ejaculation and then failing to do so during the excitement of lovemaking! You need to decide beforehand that’s your objective.

1) It’s what you do that counts, not what you say.

So getting your head in the right place is essential: if you don’t want to delay ejaculating for your own pleasure, do it for your partner’s sake, because when she’s happier in bed your whole relationship will improve dramatically. That’s a decision that only you can take.

2) The second step in learning to last longer is that you actually become more relaxed while having sex.

Having sex makes the muscles of your body tighten as you become more aroused – you know this is happening when your breathing becomes shallower and faster. Together these changes speed up your progress towards orgasm, which makes it essential to counteract them.

Surprisingly, it is possible to remain relaxed and keep your breathing deep and slow even as you become wrapped up in the excitement of sexual arousal. The simplest way to avoid tension is to keep a small portion of your mind focused entirely on the amount of muscular tension you are experiencing, and to keep track of your breathing so you can slow down and take deep breaths if necessary.

So every time you sense that you’re getting more tense, take time to slow down, and consciously relax all your muscles. Ejaculation delay, delay, delay. Think about it! And again, if you notice your breathing is getting shallow and fast, slow it down and take several slow, deep breaths. These two simple strategies will actually enable you to delay your ejaculation for a surprisingly long time. 

3) Third: know when you’re going to come. My experience is that many men who want to avoid premature ejaculation are unaware of how aroused they are, so that their ejaculation surprises them. Become more aware of how aroused you are and you can control your progress towards orgasm by slowing down the rhythm of sex, resting gently inside your partner and giving your arousal time to decrease.

And practice on your own: masturbate with a slippery lubricant such as olive oil; repeatedly bring yourself towards the point of ejaculation, but stop before you come. While you do this, watch how aroused you are, and stop masturbating before you actually shoot your load. Don’t just delay ejaculation, but enjoy the sensuality of the self-arousal too. The first few times you try this, you may find that it’s necessary to stop well in advance of the point of no return; with practice, you’ll be able to bring yourself much closer to the PONR and remain there for longer.

More information: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22827115

If possible, bring yourself near to the point of climax four or five times before finally taking pleasure in your climax. Simply by using this technique you will rapidly discover how to delay ejaculation and make love for at some extended time. You can then adapt a similar technique for full intercourse, slowing down or stopping your stimulation when you become too aroused.

The Scientific Viewpoint

Premature Ejaculation (PE) is one of man’s most widespread and understated sexual problems. It can affect men at any time in their lives and one in four experience poor ejaculation control on a regular basis. Unfortunately this medical condition is a taboo subject in almost every culture. But at a recent meeting of the American Urological Association (AUA), two presentations were held to increase understanding of this sexual condition.

According to Dr James H. Barada, “PE is a recurrent condition that can adversely impact the quality of life of patient and partner.  But many men are unwilling to discuss it with their partners or physicians.” Perhaps renaming the condition would reduce the stigma associated with it and thereby increase awareness of and discussion about PE. To investigate this matter, a working group has undertaken a review of recent research.

The results showed that the term ‘premature ejaculation’ was universally recognized and properly understood by patients and their partners. It certainly distinguishes the problem from the less common condition anorgasmia, also known as delayed ejaculation (or retarded ejaculation).

How To Slow Down Ejaculation – Is It Really Possible?

The group concluded that a change of name may result in confusion and requiring widespread explanation. Furthermore all commonly used euphemisms such as ‘rapid ejaculation’ were not as well understood by the study patients or partners. Most importantly, the results show that the stigma comes not from the name but the condition itself. The group recommends continued use of the term ‘premature ejaculation’ and calls on medical professionals to encourage communication and discussion to de-stigmatize the condition. For those men wishing to learn how to delay their ejaculation, it would seem that embarrassment is not yet at an end!

But why is PE so stigmatized, considering it is so common? Further research (The McCullough study) analyzed data collected from an on-line survey of over 1,000 men above the age of 21 who were in heterosexual relationship. These included questions about ejaculatory control and found that 32 percent of men identified themselves as having PE.

The research went on to suggest that the stigma is due to the extensive impact that it leaves on so many aspects of a man’s life, giving him a sense of embarrassment and inadequacy. Research shows that sufferers from PE are less satisfied with sex and suffer problems with sexual anxiety and arousal. In brief, PE has a negative impact on sexual performance, sexual enjoyment and quality of life in general.

Johnson & Johnson were involved in the second presentation. The company, together with ALZA Pharmaceutical Product Development, is pioneering a new medication for PE, especially for the treatment of premature ejaculation and is currently undergoing clinical evaluation in its third and final phase. Results so far indicate that
Dapoxetine significantly helped sufferers of PE to slow down their ejaculation and had satisfactory side effects. Strange that it has not yet been licensed in the USA, if it’s so safe. Maybe the FDA have something they should be telling us – especially those who have been using it in parts of Europe, where it is licensed as a drug specifically prescribed for men who want to know how to delay ejaculation.

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